Ariana answers questions on "Confidence in Sex"

What are the most common mistakes which a man makes in bed?

1. Only touching or immediately focussing in on her obvious erogenous zones and neglecting the rest of her body. The whole of a woman's body can become an erogenous zone, when she is sufficiently aroused.
2. Insufficient attention to lubrication. He needs to make sure his partner is well-lubricated.
3. Not appreciating how smell can affect a woman's sexual responses. Poor personal hygiene is a turn-off, whereas a man's sweat after he's showered can be a turn-on.
4. Concentrating on doing instead of some time spent just being with his partner, fully present with her, talking to her, maintaining eye contact, appreciating her in words and by touch.
5. Penetrating the woman before she's had enough clitoral / finger / tongue stimulation / combination – unless the woman has indicated she likes this and assuming she's well lubricated.
6. Expecting a woman to orgasm and taking it personally if she doesn't. Pressure put on a woman to "achieve" an orgasm is counter-productive. Better to focus on stimulating all her senses and letting her enjoy whatever form of touch she prefers. Orgasm, if it's going to happen, will then follow naturally.
7. Not realising that a woman's first orgasm can be a "warm-up" one and that some women might want to go onto have more sometimes.

What are the most common mistakes a woman might make in bed?

1. Expecting a man to read minds and know how she likes to be touched.
2. Men like some sort of feedback to know they're doing something right or not.
3. Focussing on trying to please the man so much that she neglects her own responses. It's helpful if both people take turns to give and receive pleasure.
4. In terms of (non-genital) skin sensitivity, it's easy for a woman to forget that men are generally less skin sensitive than women. Although men do like to be touched all over their bodies, touching their cock is a more effective way when trying to sexually arouse them.
5. Perhaps not fully appreciating how exciting it is for a man to see his partner naked or partially clothed, by insisting on having the lights switched off. Men generally love to watch a woman play with herself and get turned on by the sight of their partner's body.