Ariana answers questions on "Confidence in Sex"

In your experience, what prevents most people from getting the most out of their sexual experiences?

The lack of effective and useful sex education.

I believe there is still a wide lack of effective and useful sex education. It needs a radical overhaul. Some schools are still in the dark ages in terms of the way they tackle it and what is taught.

Communication Skills – Differences Between the Sexes

In my opinion, education should also include teaching about the differences in the way women and men communicate – either as part of general studies or as part of the sex education syllabus itself. It would help to avoid confusion in later sexual relationships and in life.

One way of widening knowledge around sexual issues could be to have a specialist option within the curriculum, where a young person can elect to study "Sexual Studies" as a subject in itself, with a recognised qualification at the end of it (e.g. GCSE). This could be in addition to a more general improved sex education programme. I don't believe that knowledge leads to greater experimentation, because keeping young people in the dark about something always leads to greater curiosity and more chance that they will pick up misinformation from their mates. I do think parents need to play a part in the sex education process, but if they received limited information at school and didn't learn much else from anywhere, how are they then supposed to teach their own children? Just a thought…

Society's Attitudes to Menstruation

Attitudes surrounding the start of menstruation (periods) can be influential to how a woman feels about her body and herself as a sexual being. I feel that society today does women a great disservice. Sure we've got new winged-super-absorbent techno-panty pads and that's all well and good - but we've also got the message "ssh – you're menstruating… don't let anyone know about it", as if it's a terrible secret and something to be ashamed about. I think this is all wrong.

To my mind, the message should be that something beautiful and special has happened and that they have entered a more powerful phase of their life. Many women don't realise that menstruation is a time when they can be more creative and more easily tap into their intuitive sides.

If women take on board society's disempowering attitude to menstruation, they can end up with a negative view of their body as something smelly, which they have to ensure is deodorised, sanitised and kept hidden. I haven't been surprised to read that some women view their genital area in a less than positive way, because of events surrounding the arrival of their own periods and messages they received about it from family, or their peers.

How a Man Can Help His Partner Become Less Inhibited During Sex

One useful thing a man can do in love-making to help his partner overcome any inhibitions is to comment positively about her genital area / sex / pussy / whatever word. For example, saying: "You've got a beautiful pussy, you smell and taste so good" would be one way of letting her know she's adorable. Don't underestimate the effect of this simple thing. The man may need to reinforce this several times on different occasions.